PC4Media

One More 'Blogging is An Addiction' Post & the Formation of Bloggers Anonymous

It all started when the NYT published an article with the general gist of:

Blogging is a pastime for many, even a livelihood for a few. For some, it becomes an obsession. Such bloggers often feel compelled to write several times daily and feel anxious if they don't keep up. As they spend more time hunkered over their computers, they neglect family, friends and jobs. They blog at home, at work and on the road. They blog openly or sometimes, like Mr. Wiggins, quietly so as not to call attention to their habit. (article found via A_VC)

The first reaction among frequent webloggers was denial.

And since I can identify with the paragraph above, I was also a bit perturbed that someone called me out. After thinking about it, though, and realizing how consumed I've become, I realized that I am addicted. Yes, the next step is acceptance of the disease.

Both my business partner and my fiance have asked me how much time I spend. And they both were a bit jeaulous and perturbed when I told them. Fortunately, neither have come to this:

(pic found via A_VC)

So, with this post I am starting:

Bloggers Anonymous:
For Bloggers that are addicted to blogging.

And the twelve step program:

1. We admitted we were powerless over blogging — that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than Jeff Jarvis could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our livelihood over to the care of Jason Calacanis as we understood Him and his 50-50 revenue split.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our waypath related links.

5. Admitted to Blogger.com, to Movable Type and through any other blogging software the exact nature of our blogging.

6. We are entirely ready to have Joi Ito remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Cameron Marlow to remove porn from blogdex.

8. Made a blogroll of all persons we had harmed and became willing to link to them again.

9. Hyperlink to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or other bloggers.

10. Continued to write in first person and monitor incoming links through technorati and when our ideas are not attributed, promptly blogged about it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation blogging to improve our conscious contact with slashdot, as we understood it, praying only for one freaking acceptance of a link we propose.

12. Having had a re-blogging awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to bloggers by linking to these twelve steps and monitoring references to it in our bloglines newsreader, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

New Reality Show: Missionary Positions

From the XXXChurch Ministers that brought us:

Comes a New Reality Television Show: Missionary Positions

The Tagline: "'You don't own me, masturbation! I'm taking my life back!" (more info at wired.com)

Why don't more people create their own personal's site?

I don't know if these are serious or not, but they are hilarious.

Excerpt from one Japanes guy's site he put up to find ladies...

I speak in the english and the german. Milk is nice drink. I drink 3-4 pints most day. I live alone. Who is want to come to Tokyo. Have extra bedroom my house. My other intrests includes milk produckts. chesees, youghurt, ect... also naked womens. Maybe combine both!!!!! hohoho!!! Also i liek beers. I liek SEX

Why You Should Never Post Your Picture Online

Someone can take this....

and make this...

and a thousand other variations.

And I just threw up my picture last night. Feel free to f%^# with it.

For the Sake of Posterity, Give This Guy a Gmail Account, Please.

Marcus left a brilliant post in my comments as a sort-of kinda plea for a gmail account. I don't have any. If anyone does, hook him up. I think the world will be a better safer place if he gets what he wants.

GMail, Chocolate Nazis and fashion tips for the season Uhhh, puhh, well, I hurried and here I am, begging to get a G-Mail account! Why? Because I wanted to dress up and drink coffee with a bisexual friend of mine in the shabbiest place on earth called the rendez-vous. That's why. I just don’t have a life, I'd like one, so if you don't have any invitations left, just send a life. I won't send you paypal, because I don't know what that is, if you accept international credit cards there might be a way (but there is none, still). You have none left? Well, listen anyway, I’m just bored. One month and a half left, then I'll be back in Germany. I'm an exchange student (here, USA), just so you know. Frankly, I don't even know you, but guess what, I'll beg anyway, because it's such a humane thing to do. Am I humane? Certainly not, I keep bothering people about things they probably don’t even care about. People then always come up with those stupid associations, like that I were a communist spy. And what’s in for me? Well, a mail address like redspymarcus@aol.com, just to please the people that hate me anyway. It’s sad if you actually think about it, so please don’t. Just concentrate. What are you doing next? Where do you want to go today (uhh copyright problems!)? Maybe you should eat something, just because eating is awesome. Trust me, I know, and I already look like a wise man. No, just kidding, I’m not too fat, I guess. Don’t ask my thighs, they’ll lie. That’s what thighs usually do, they also complain (wait till they here about the chicken I had earlier!). What was I saying? I don’t really know. Do I care? Certainly. Definitely maybe, I guess. Have you ever wondered, if anybody would survive a nuclear holocaust? Okay, it wouldn’t be called holocaust, if people would survive. But what would be there? Cockroaches I guess, and probably Cher. Uhh and another thing. Since when do girls know, that guys have urinals in there bathrooms? When do they find out, how? But more troublesome, what do girls have, we don’t know about?

Bye. Marcus von Gruenberg-Schmidt (a name I’m destined to have, later, I guess)

The Secret of Every Female Co-Worker's Lotion

So, I passed wind last night in bed. It was one of the more intimate moments I've spent with my fiance. wink wink. I know. I know. It's disgusting. And It's even more disgusting that I am posting about it.

But, hey. I am sure you've done the same thing. If not, it is because you are repressed and not because you don't fart. Long ago, I thought that women didn't fart. My Aunt Kathy, my GodMother, still insists that she has never farted. Anyways, women are coy about it. They actually go to the bathroom to do it.

So, naturally (no pun intended) I introduced the topic of conversation last night. So, I figured I'd follow up with some questions. Here's how the conversation went.

Me: Amy, do you ever fart?
Amy: Of course.
Me: I've never heard it or smelled it. Where do you do it?
Amy: I usually go to the bathroom.
Me: If I went to the bathroom every time, I'd be spending too much time in the bathroom. People at work would think I have worse problems.

And then the revelation came out. Ladies, she let out your little secret...

Why do women keep little bottles of strong scented lotion at their desk? Yes, every woman has a bottle at her desk. Look around if you aren't that observant, and you'll see. If its not on the top of the desk, it is in the top drawer. And No, They don't keep it around because their hands get dry during the strenuous act of typewriting.

It is in the event of a FART. Mystery Solved Gentleman.

(picture complements of the Javins.)

Divorced Husband Sells Wife's Wedding Dress on Ebay

Current Bid is > 25k. Absolutely Amazing! If you can't tell, I love funny ebay auctions. Not only is the idea of his posting pretty witty, his description is hilarious:

For Sale: One Slightly Used Size 12 Wedding Gown. Only worn twice: Once at the wedding and once for these pictures.

Make: Victoria
Style: 611
Size: 12

Divorce forces sale

I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, "That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it." So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill. Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years. Thank the Lord we didn't have kids. If they would have turned out like her or her family I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, it’s a really nice dress as you can see in the pictures. Personally, I think it looks like a $1200 shower curtain, but what do I know about this. We tried taking pictures of this lovely white garment but it didn’t look right on the hanger as you can see, so my sister says, "You need a model." Well, quite frankly my sister isn’t exactly small, (like a size 12 is?) so she wouldn’t pose for the picture. Seeing as I have sworn off women for the time being and I ain’t friends with any, it left me holding the bag. I took the liberty of blacking out my face - not to protect the ex-wife but to protect me from my bar buddies and co-workers finding out about it. I would never live it down. Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck hole, but then I figured she got her Texas cheerleader hair through there I could get my head in it. Though, after looking at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat. How do you women wear this crap? I only had to walk 3 feet and I tripped twice. Don’t worry ladies - I am wearing clothes on underneath it. I gotta say it did make me feel very pretty. So if it can make me feel pretty, it can make you feel pretty, especially on the most important day of your life, right? Anyway, I was told to say it has a train and a veil and all kinds of shiny beady things. I think it's funny that one picture makes it look like the chest plate off an Imperial Storm Trooper. Did I mention that all I want is a ball game and beer? Cheap at twice the price. Ladies, you won’t regret this. You may regret the dude you marry but not the dress.

He has received over 50,000 hits. I received this one in email from my fiance. He got some hate mail too:

On the flip side of that, I have taken offense to some of the people that told me I’m ugly and a loser. All I have to say is you’d be ugly too if you had a huge white blotch on your face. And as far as being a loser, I think you have it all wrong. I am such the winner. It isn’t every day an average guy can make 50,000 people laugh. Thanks to each and every one of you from the heart of my bottom.

Somebody get this guy a weblog... and an appointment at a tailor. Here's the picture of him modelling the dress...

Worst Album Covers Ever

PorkTornado Covers the Worst Album Covers Ever

My three favorites:

Take a visit to see the rest. It is worth the click. He has some great descriptions of why they are the worst album covers ever:

...In the world of visual communication, you have to worry about things like the feeling an image evokes. I *think* they wanted this to be a picture of a father consoling his young daughter on her sweet sixteen because she got pregnant or something. I’m not a father, but I’d guess you do stuff like that when your daughter turns sixteen. What I see when I look at this picture is a married guy (wedding ring) in a bar (beer and cigarette), holding hands with a girl who is twenty years his junior. She has been in the trunk of his Camaro for two or three days, and he made her put on lots of makeup so he could get her in to the bar for a “date”...

The legacy every musician hopes for their work!

Yahoo Soul Search...

...is now real. I read this spoof article a few days ago at yahoo about yahoo soul search:

"Capable of navigating the billions of thoughts, experiences, and emotions that make up the human psyche, the new Yahoo soul-search engine helps users find what's deep inside them quickly and easily," Yahoo CEO Terry Semel said. "All those long, difficult nights of pondering your place in this world are a thing of the past."

Apparently, this has been implemented at yahoo. What will they do next? How about Yahoo Lost and Found Search? -- Searching Lost and Founds everywhere. Found via Jeff Boulter's Weblog

air guitar on ebay

This is your chance to purchase your very own air guitar. I am reposting the description and the image below, since this will inevitably be removed from ebay at some point.

This authentic air guitar was passed down through decades of family and friends. It has had a truely remarkable past and still to this day can rock like no other. It was created in the mid 70's and then soon mastered on April 28, 1977. On that date the guitar had the opportunity of a lifetime. It was in the presence of the four most magical musicians in the world......thats correct, it was being rocked on ever so hard alongside with Led Zeppelin at the Destroyer II concert in Cleveland, Ohio. There is an old rumor that tells of Mr. Jimmy Page himself stopping in mid solo during Achilles Last Stand, and letting the heavenly sounds of this air guitar take over... Be it as it may this guitar is strictly for hard-core fans who know the ways of an air guitar. Since its days in the 70's it has been in two air bands, and caught the eye of many great bands including Styx (5 times), Uriah Heep (rules!), and Kansas (where it was actually played better than the band's guitars). So think about the embarrassment you'll have when a radically hellacious guitar solo breaks out, and your without this majestic instrument. Winning bidder pays no shipping as it can be compacted into a single envelope. (guitar case not included)